“Self-care isn’t selfish.”
“Put on your oxygen mask first before assisting others.”
“You need to take care of yourself first before you can care for others.”
You’re probably familiar with at least one of these phrases. The idea of self-care is everywhere. It’s in most of the content we consume—news articles, books, movies, etc. The heart behind self-care seems logical and good for us. It’s this idea that you should take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Even the Bible supports this idea. When God created the world, He rested on the seventh day. Jesus encouraged his disciples to rest. He also took time to be by himself. So, is there anything wrong with the way our world talks about self-care?
While the world seems to get the idea of self-care right, there is a difference between what the world defines as “self-care” and what God defines as “self-care.”
The motivations and outcomes are different.
The world tells us that the purpose of self-care is for our benefit. The Bible tells us that self-care is for us to fill up spiritually so we can pour out to others and bring glory to God.
In Mark 12:30-31, Jesus says the greatest commandment is this: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
Often the misconception is that we have to love ourselves first before we can love others. But this passage doesn’t tell us to put ourselves first. It tells us to prioritize God and others. As believers, we should practice self-care so that we can make a bigger impact for the kingdom of God. When we practice self-care the way the world defines it, our only benefit is that we feel better or more energized. And in that self-care, the world promises that we can find fulfillment in it.
When Jesus rested, it was intentional. He spent time in prayer, and that’s where his replenishment came from. As a result, Jesus’ ministry was even stronger, more impactful, and aligned with God’s calling and purpose. His fulfillment wasn’t in the act of self-care itself but in the motivation to find fulfillment in God’s purpose and to honor God.
Our motivation for practicing self-care should be so that we can serve God and others more effectively—not ourselves.
One isolates while the other is community-focused.
The world’s form of self-care is spending time with ourselves. But in Scripture, Jesus spends time alone with God and prioritizes time with his inner circle.
In Mark 1:35, it says, “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.”
While the verse says that Jesus went to be alone, he actually wasn’t truly alone. He was spending intentional time with his Father and deepening his relationship with God. When Jesus was so exhausted, instead of focusing on himself in his rest, he focused on God.
Another example is when Jesus was praying on the night he was arrested. In his darkest moment when he knew he was going to die, Jesus asked his disciples to pray with him.
“Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, ‘Sit here while I go over there and pray.’ He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me’” (Matthew 26:36).
Jesus modeled what it looks like to take care of ourselves in community. Jesus didn’t suffer alone. He turned to God first and invited his community to turn to God with him. Caring for ourselves spiritually happens in community.
The outcomes are different.
What is the outcome you want when practicing self-care? Worldly self-care leads to personal pleasure, success, or temporary peace and joy. Biblical self-care leads to spiritual health and readiness to fulfill God’s purposes.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.’”
Paul tells us that we should treat our bodies like temples—not so that we can look good and be more attractive—but because the Holy Spirit dwells in us. Because the motivation is different, the outcome is different. When we honor our bodies as Paul describes, which could mean depriving ourselves of worldly pleasures, we honor God.
Romans 12, says, “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
In this passage, Paul is calling us to be transformed into the image of Christ. And, when we pursue this, we will experience spiritual renewal that will prepare us for God’s purpose.
So What?
When we choose to practice spiritual self-care, our motivations are different, we grow closer in community rather than in isolation, and the outcome is different.
Think about what self-care looks like for you. What is your motivation? Do you turn to God for energy and replenishment? What has been the outcome of how you’ve practiced self-care in the past?
Here are some things you can do to practice spiritual self-care:
When you need to rest, instead of turning to things like Netflix, find replenishment in God’s Word.
Whenever you feel overwhelmed or stressed, take your concerns to God first.
Combat any lies you face this week with the truth from Scripture.
Spend intentional time in biblical community and invite the people in your life to pray with you.
Kali Gibson is the editor-in-chief for So We Speak and a copywriter for the Youversion Bible App.
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